I’ve often wondered why these sections got the cut, (my memoir had to be pared down to below 100,000 words) and what prompted me to include them in the first place in my memoir Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces. (SheWritesPress, 2016) As I retyped them from the copyedited version for today’s blog post, the following insights came to me:
- Could it be that I wanted my reader to understand my mother’s family history in terms of escaping the Nazis?
- Could it be that I wanted the reader to under the dynamics of my family history?
Now rereading these words, I would have to say “Yes” to both these questions. I couldn’t edit any content out during the kickstarting phase, but I tried to understand where I was going with certain scenes.
My editor made suggestions for clarity, but the point of this scene and section was to show how I was able to deal with Shawna, a very bossy Australian who was ten years older than me on my aunt’s kibbutz in Israel where we were both working as volunteers. I was trying to forge the understanding between her bossy nature and that of a sabra, a prickly pear fruit word to describe an Israeli born and this piece of information to let the reader know where I’m coming from as an American-Israeli trying to figure out how this prickly pear culture fits in with my own life.
So after reading these sections, would you be enticed to read the memoir?
At Grandmother’s apartment in Far Rockaway, Queens, I once thought soups were big buckets of tears because mother would tear up and cry as she cut onions. Grandma would throw methodologically, every onion into that pot as if it were no big deal. “So what’s the story?” she would ask during a random conversation, but Mom was so busy wiping her eyes on her sleeve, that by the time she was finished, Grandma was already dressing the chicken.
“Why are you crying?” I’d ask.
“That’s what happens,” she said. “They make you cry.”
Of course, none of this made sense as the plate of fried onions she served over fluffy white rice never made me cry.
Just as the steam from the boiled onions crowded along the two long fluorescent tubes as they tried to find a way out of her small Queens apartment, my grandmother would sniffle, grunt, and mutter a few words in Yiddish after slicing and boiling the onions. Years later, I wondered if grandmother’s tears were really about leaving her family, her Polish roots when she found out she had to leave Poland. She was forced to leave because of Hitler; she fled to Spain, and later to Panama, and ultimately, to the Bronx. But grandmother never talked to me about these things. Maybe she didn’t want to make me cry.
Many years later, both my grandparents’ families were wiped out by the Nazis and that my grandparents were lucky and smart enough to escape Spain with my mother, a baby at the time, along with their other daughter, my aunt, who was seven at the time.
Had I known this information, I might have been in a better position to fend for myself against bossy people like Shawna who now made herself head of the volunteers.
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Wow! This is the post I expected to be reading. I’ll keep an eye out for the book next year.
Thanks, Nick! You can check out my Pubslush campaign for the memoir Accidental Soldier, and read a free chapter over at the Pubslush link:
https://pubslush.com/project/6833
What a wonderful piece. You write beautifully.
Wow, thank you so much Kathy. Your comment made my day!
I like to read the family background that makes a person the way they are.
I agree with you Francene. I do too!
Well, I had a grandmother like that in some ways, but she lived in the Bronx. Perhaps she lived near your grandmother after your grandmother finally moved to the Bronx. And, I was born in the Rockaways. Right away, you formed a connection with me.
And I’m very grateful for that connection, Alana!
I’m one of those writers that likes to share all of the background information. What makes someone the way they are?
But I’m a reader who skims right past that stuff. I straight up skip it, actually, and as a result often miss important details.
My husband isn’t a reader. However, when he does read, he find facts that I think he’s making up. That would be because he reads all the “background” information that I skip.
It’s a tough balance. One I am far, far, far from balancing. If you figure it out, I’ll send you stuff to edit! 😉
Yes, I can relate to your reading preferences. It’s hard to really take a book in when you’re not 100% focused it seems.