Today is my Jewish 50th birthday. Turning 50. Like…wow. What a milestone. 50 years ago on the Jewish calendar, G-d gifted me with life and my mother of blessed memory gave birth to me in New York City Hospital. Just the number itself feels round, full of hope, potential, and promise like the challahs I made early this morning. And much needed. Especially now.
When I think of milestones, I think of “nun” of the Hebrew alphabet which has a numerical value of 50 and a symbolic meaning of loyalty and the soul. My Jewish soul is loyal to self-growth – spiritually and emotionally. And today is a milestone.
In the last seven months since our global pandemic began, I have gone through unprecedented changes that my mother didn’t have to go through in her lifetime. Through the hurt, pain, and grief I have emerged stronger on the other side. So today, of all days, it’s especially fitting to share 5 insights and nuggets of wisdom as a way to make sense of this major milestone.
This is what I know about turning 50.
1. Events do not define you. (Note: I’m still processing this one.) Even if I have hurt someone or someone has hurt me, that event does not need to define me. I’ll still go on living. I’m working hard not to let hurt consume me. Instead, I remember I am a spark of g-dliness with a divine connection that allows me to build connections with the family I love, the work that drives me and the colleagues and friends who I adore.
2. Fears do not define you either. We have 2 sides to our brain, the rational and the emotional. When we’re scared, we run away from the fear as a “flight or flight” type response. If you’ve read my award-winning memoir Accidental Soldier, then you know how I struggled to overcome fear as a soldier in the Israel Defense Forces. There are numerous passages in the Torah that demonstrate how the Jewish people overcame their fears as a nation, such as the splitting of the Red Sea to escape Pharoah. But one thing is for certain – we can choose how we react to those fears.
3. Writing helps recreate new pathways and habits. I have stuck to a Wild Writing practice since the pandemic to help me listen to the hurt but also channel it. Divine creative energy channels me and now I’m realizing that this is G-d’s way of telling me, “keep writing. It’s your mission. It’s your gift.” I listen. I write. Oh, and also I’m learning to listen to my body. I tend to hold unto the hurt in my body. This is what the practice is teaching me. Which brings me to #4.
4. Activating intuition and self-awareness put you ahead of the game. There’s so much digital noise right now and it robs us of really connecting to who we are and what we need in a given moment. It takes strength to break ahead from the herd, but the herd isn’t always right, right?
5. We need to be flexible, moldable more than ever. I write about these lessons of a “sand and steel” mindset in my upcoming expat memoir, Sand and Steel: A Memoir of Longing and Finding Home, (which you can pre-order right now) but in a pandemic, as we have seen, these lessons go up a notch. What we previously thought would help us adapt to change, is no longer working. We have to be flexible, pivot, learn and flow. I’m calling this decade, “Fit at Fifty” – to imply the mental agility needed to deal with these unprecedented changes and challenges.
My Jewish 50th Birthday is a celebration of power. Thank you for helping me celebrate it today. Mazal tov, L’Chaim, and Shabbat Shalom!
What have been some of your most important lessons and insights? Share them in the comment box. I’ll respond to them!
You’ve had the blessings of many unique experiences and you have stood up to each challenge. You have earned your jubilee birthday! You have earned the right to hold it to the light and watch it sparkle. But remember that the edges are sharp and nothing is harder than that diamond through which we reflect. Pain comes with the pleasure of remembering our joy! The pain of the word shalom which is both hello and good bye and peace and from the root word of complete… which we can never be no matter where we are but which we must be wherever we are. 🙏🏻
What a beautiful heartfelt comment. Thank you Nancy for brightening my day and year!