It seemed like a neat idea at first – going all four of us to Washington D.C. this past weekend where I’d kick off the She Writes Press spring author book tour. I’d participate on a panel at One More Page Books in Arlington Virginia for my book, Accidental Soldier: A Memoir of Service and Sacrifice in the Israel Defense Forces which will be released by She Writes Press next month.
Sounds neat, huh?
At first glance, the “pure” courage piece here was the motivation and determination to stand up in front of an audience and talk about my publishing and writing experience.
But in fact, the actual “courage” to stand up in front of that audience was the easy part.
I’d soon find that the real challenge was the parenting layers that went along with book promotion.
From the moment I enlisted my son to come with me on the tour while in DC, I got nothing but slack. “Why the heck do I have to join you on the tour?” he shouted over again. “Why can’t you just go by yourself?”
I know what you’re probably thinking — I should have just let him off the hook and stayed at our Air B and B in DC. But my husband was adamant. “No, we’re going to support Ima (Mom in Hebrew) as a family.”
As the time for departure grew closer, my eleven-year-old son would give me hell. (Yes, I get that you want to sit in front of the plasma TV and watch sports because we don’t have a TV at home. I get that it fascinates you.)
I thought I was going to throw up.
I tried putting myself in his shoes, but I just couldn’t play the role of the author Mom and the sympathetic Mom. It was just too hard. I needed to start focusing on the event.
It didn’t matter if this was mommy’s important or special night. Bottom line: I felt I had did the wrong thing by dragging my family with me to this event. Wouldn’t it be a ton easier to function and perform without them?
When we arrived at the book tour event, my son finally acquiesced to the fact he’d be there to support me, but was in electronics mode. “It’s too boring,” he would share later.
Then came the need to muster courage dealing with the two year old.
All she wanted to do was look at all the books. She pulled them off the shelf one by one. And then, she grabbed a few from the shelf where we were sitting and asked me to read them while we were listening to each other’s stories and book publication journeys.
“Read mommy, Read!”
Then she came with her brother’s phone and started pushing the buttons. (See picture) Really? Is this for real? Is this what’s it like to promote a book as a parent? Apparently, so.
The moderator was only too happy to have my daughter wandering about and shared with me a time when authors brought their kids to events. That was the hippy generation I grew up with at Westbeth listening to award winning storyteller Stephen Holst with kids running around. Amuck and all.
Boy did I not want to take a chance with an energetic toddler. Yeah, sure she’ll stay in one place and read. You don’t know my kid.
I flagged my husband with my eyes (yes, that sounds weird) and she disappeared with my husband. (Thank goodness he was there to help.)
Thirty minutes passed and I heard a bang on the window. I heard my daughter shouting, “Mommy, Mommy!” All heads were turned. How annoying and embarrassing.
And soon they disappeared. I wanted to collapse.
All in all, it was just an innocuous moment. I got lots of responses of “how adorable and cute she was” and she was adorable and cute, but it was emotionally challenging.
What about the time when my little girl came to me with a book and said, “Read the book. Read it Mommy.”
She wanted mommy, but Mommy was busy. What the heck was Mommy supposed to do?
I am the Mommy. I am the parent. I am the mommy. No, I’m not the mommy.
Be brave. Be brave. Have courage.
I’m not so sure what the connection is between courage and this specific post as I sit and blog this, but I can wrap up the responsibility of promoting a book and combining motherhood in these three ways:
1. It takes courage to be a mother
2. It takes courage to be a writing mama
3. It takes courage to write and promote your book
There are many moments when being a mother makes everything so much more trying and difficult. I could have just left my kids at home and not taken them with me to the tour stop and drag around a car seat.
What do you think of this decision to take my kids with me on a book tour? Do you think I did the right thing? What would you have done during these challenging moments?
Oh, and did you know I’ve got a free 7 day e-course to offer you? It’s about rocking and rolling your business and life with courage. And you can download it simply by opting in at the upper right hand corner of this site’s homepage.
Download your first F-R-E-E lesson, and I’ll see you… On the other side.
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